Copy the file?

- Herbert, I reviewed your code and the test isn't working. You need to modify the test so that it creates a copy of the file before it is processed. You also need to rename the file to something else.

- Ok, so just copy the file before it is processed by the plugin?

- Yeah, and also rename the file to something more convenient.

* 15 minutes later *

- Ok it's done

- The test is still failing. Where did you add the code that copies the file?

- Copies the file?

- Yeah, remember I told you you needed to copy the file before it was processed?

- Copy the file? The file is already there.

- Yeah but...the test is failing. You need to create a copy so the test works.

- Copy the file?

- *sigh* nevermind. Please just add this code to line 43.

* 15 minutes later *

- I fixed it!

It's basically the same thing, just off by about 998 thousand.

- I don't know why this query is so slow in production. Is killing me! I tested the query on my machine and it's fast!
- How many records do we have in production?
- About one million
- How many do you have on your machine?
- 2,000
* facepalm *

What is this "doing actual work" thing?

- How do I generate the unit tests with the PHP unit?
- You mean run them?
- No, how to create new unit tests?
- Well, you go into the tests folder and add a new test class
- So I actually have to write the tests?

(Hasn't tried to write a unit test ever since)

Error: Listening module not available

- Hey Herbert, I have to work on an urgent ticket, so I've been told you will be taking over the one I was working on. The issue is basically fixed, I just didn't have time to test it. You have to add these two lines to this file.
- Ok!

2 days later...

- This isn't working, is killing me!
* Spend 15 minutes helping him debug the issue *
- Where are the lines I asked you to add?
- Lines?
- The lines I sent you...did you add them?
- No
- Could you please add them?
* Adds them, tests again *
- I fixed it!
* facepalm *

Expect brain delays of up to 5 hours

9:00AM
- This query is really slow! Is killing me! How to fix it?
- The problem is it's doing a fulltext search. Make sure that the table is MyISAM and add a fulltext index.
- Ok got it!

* Herbert enters intense coding mode for a few hours *

2:00PM
- What if I added a fulltext index?
- *sigh* Yeah, that could work

2:30PM
- Should it be a MyISAM table?
*facepalm*